Chapter Number B: The Adventure Begins To Continue...

Imagine if you will the great adventures of all time.

Luke Skywalker stumbles upon a plea for help from a beautiful Princess. He hooks up with a crazy old wizard and... does nothing.

He puts old Ben Kenobi on a Megabus to Mos Eisley and spends the rest of life on his Uncle’s farm eventually getting caught in a compromising position with an R2 unit after drinking too much blue milk on New Years Eve.

Or take King Arthur. Fulfilling the prophesies of Merlin he draws the sword Excalibur from the stone and proclaims himself the once and future King of Britain.
He then sells Excalibur on ebay to a guy called Loverman22 and uses the money to go back packing around Thailand, comes back and gets a job in marketing.

It just doesn’t fit does it?

This is the situation I now find myself in. A year ago I posted a blog pledging to contact one of my Facebook friends each day, make some kind of direct, personal connection with them and at the end of the week I would blog (humorously) about what I had discovered.

It was called... Face To Facebook.

The response within the online community was nothing short of mildly interested. I was poised on the verge of greatness. The blog would lead to a stage show in Edinburgh, that would in turn lead to a book, then a DVD, finally a movie with myself being played, naturally enough, by Robert Downey Jnr. I would then receive a Knighthood, eat a Mr Kipling’s cherry bakewell and go to bed. I was finally taking my life and my career in my hands – nothing, but nothing was gonna stop me now!
I managed to contact three friends before the whole thing fell apart.
What happened you ask? I’d like to blame the recession. I’d like to blame being made redundant from my job, the pressures of being an out of work actor, my budding stand up career (8 gigs and 6 laughs so far). I’d like to blame David Cameron’s B&Q Society.

I’d like to blame all of these things. But the truth is I’m a very lazy person and
I got distracted by watching Frasier. For a year.

My intention was to make some sort of statement about how we are plugged in 247 and yet we have never been more lonely. I realise now that my real motivation was the fact that nobody ever texts me.

Well never let it be said that I learn from my mistakes. Like a phoenix from the ashes or a re-booted Hulk movie I’m having one last shot at the big time.
I’ll start from scratch at the top and work my way down as promised. I promise not to cull anyone until my quest is complete. Get ready Facebook friends. It’s coming...